Shakespear's Ambassadors

Lunch today happened at Shakespeare's Pizza at the corner of Elm and 9th Streets downtown. The place serves pizza and undergraduate attitude, both of which are institutions in Columbia. The building has concrete floors, vintage roadside advertisements, shop towel napkins and a line out the door from noon to 2pm.

The group I sat with took up half of the backroom. One veggie, one works, one cheese, one venerable pepperoni surrounded by three Danes, one Aussie, one Scot, one Spaniard, one Argentine, one New Zealander and one American who felt incredibly old. Try explaining parmesan cheese that can be sprinkled out of a jar to ninteen-year-olds who come from countries that have banned geneticly modified crops.

Highlights:

"I'm not sure. I don't really know how to ride a bike." Blank stares from ten internationals. "I can ride a bike. I just can't turn corners."

"Try not to get sick while you're here. It's terribly expensive and very difficult to work into your schedule."

"I mean it's Florida. No one but Paris Hilton and the Bush family pay it too much attention."

"Cities and wastelines in America both started expanding uncontrollably during the Johnson Administration. That's what comes of a Texan in the White House, I suppose."

"Most movie theaters don't sell sushi rolls. We favor Mike 'N Ikes and popcorn here."

"People in the States just don't seem to pay that much attention to protests anymore." A drink of pink lemonade. "They went out of fashion when Disco hit."

"No, there shouldn't be any tornados during the fall semester. Unless you happen upon a semi-annual white sale at Neiman's. That's unlikely, but I can provide survival tips if you do."

"In fact, Columbia is nothing like Amsterdam."

"You'll need to ask a man who doesn't date other men what precisely happens at a tailgating party. I'm certain it's not the same thing as the guy in North St. Louis who sells Prada from the trunk of his '89 Oldmobile Cutlass, but everyone's game day takes on a personal flavor. No judgement."

"Please don't go to Tijuana. Or Alabama. Too be safe, just don't go past Jefferson City."

On overcast days in the middle of America, I'm lucky to have a job that reminds me of how wonderfully different we are. I'm even more lucky to see that even when those ways are difficult to explain or are disappointing, we still have the opportunity to smile at them. While I'm certain I'd be a horrible choice for an ambassadorial appointment, for the past several years, I've been able to view the world through the laughter and insights of young, questioning, hopeful students. When it happens over pizza, the universe is absolutely right for as long as the pepperoni holds out.